Love in the Midst of Mistaken Identities

The room was cold and silent.

He let out a soft sigh. Indescribable loneliness caused him to slump onto the floor. How long more must he go on like this? Suddenly, he covered his face with both of his hands. Quietly, beads of crystal-like tears fell through the cracks in between his fingers. One, two, three, and four. Then, nothing.

On this day, Song Wan invited Shen Yijun out for tea. They went to the teahouse that they used to frequent. It felt like a lifetime had gone by.

It had been ages since they came the last time. Song Wan poured a cup of tea for Shen Yijun. When the two families were still related by marriage, they often came—especially the year when Chu Lui mistook Xia Ruoxin’s identity. Song Wan and Shen Yijun would come every two or three days for food-tasting and chit-chat. However, who would have thought that there were so many twists and turns in between? One wrong step had caused so much harm, which resulted in the way things were today.

They had gotten old as both of them sat here once again. Their hair had grayed, and more wrinkles had appeared on their faces. Time had not prevented them from aging. Come to think of it, they were almost in their fifties. At their age, they should be cuddling with their numerous grandchildren. It was a pity. All they had were their husbands and children... but no grandchildren.

Shen Yijun seemed to have aged exceptionally quickly. Some days back when Song Wan had last seen her, her looks resembled that of a forty-year-old; but now, she resembled a woman in her mid-fifties. The roots of her hair were white, yet to be dyed, which was an indication that she had not been maintaining. Even her skin was dull, lacking its usual luster.

Shen Yijun accepted the tea and placed the cup in front of her. It smelled fragrant. She stared at the tea leaves as it steeped in the cup of water like a blooming flower. The tea leaves resembled dust like a flower petal that stopped the memories with time.

She picked up the cup that was in front of her and allowed the scent of the tea to wash over her whole body as though it could cleanse the sins from her soul. However, some things simply couldn’t be washed cleanly.

“I heard Yixuan has returned.” Song Wan said cautiously, worried that she would touch Shen Yijun’s sore spot.

“Mmm.” Shen Yijun disliked anyone mentioning Xia Yixuan’s name. “Her name has brought chaos. Mingzheng is arranging to send her abroad.”

“Oh. This child...” Song Wan was at a loss for words. “How can an obedient child do such things? Isn’t it better to be loyal?”

It was because her father had spoiled her. What else could Shen Yijun say? Xia Yixuan had enjoyed all the attention on her since she was young. She had everything she wanted, and she never had to worry about her livelihood. That was why she had become like she was. On top of that, Chu Lui always gave in to her requests and went along with her. After time went on, she developed an exaggerated opinion of her own ability.

Again, Song Wan was at a loss for words. “If only there was no mix up in the beginning. I am quite fond of that child. She is very sensible.” Song Wan picked up her teacup. The tea was bitterer compared to its taste in the past.

Shen Yijun turned her face away and wiped her tears stealthily. That’s right. Her Xinxin was very sensible. If it wasn’t for her selfishness all those years ago, her daughter wouldn’t have landed herself in such a predicament.

If only... what was the use of saying all these things now? There was no point in saying who was right or who was wrong.

“I have yet to congratulate you.” Shen Yijun didn’t wish to dwell on that topic any longer. Her heart hurt whenever she spoke of it.

“What is there to congratulate?” Song Wan didn’t think there was anything worth being happy about lately.

“Congratulations on being a grandmother soon.” Shen Yijun smiled, but she was holding back. She had been observing Song Wan who hadn’t realized that her heart was swelling with happiness as they spoke about the baby.

“Isn’t it so? My daughter is finally with child. I’ve been waiting for the past four years. If it had happened earlier, the baby will be old enough to call me ‘Granny’.”

“Actually, she could do that now.” Shen Yijun mumbled to herself, but her voice was so muffled that Song Wan couldn’t hear it.

“Oh, yes.” Song Wan suddenly recalled. “I saw Ruoxin a few days ago. She looks fine.” Song Wan took Shen Yijun’s hand and patted comforting the latter. “Don’t worry. She will come around one day. No matter what, you are her mother, and she is your daughter. I’ve seen that man. He seemed like a good man, and he has a two- or three-year-old daughter. Ruoxin is quite fond of her.”

“Is that so?” Shen Yijun merely smiled. It disappeared before it could reach her eyes.

“I...” All of a sudden, she wanted to blurt the truth out. However, what good would it do? After all, if that strange combination of circumstances didn’t happen—resulting in irreversible mistakes, Xia Ruoxin and Chu Lui would be the couple that everyone envied.

“What is it? I can feel something troubling you.” Song Wan poured another cup of tea for Shen Yijun. “We have known each other for so long. You know you can tell me if something is on your mind. There’s no need to hem and haw. If there’s anything I can help you with, I will definitely do it.”

“Oh, it’s nothing.” In the end, Shen Yijun held her tongue and didn’t say a word about Rainy. Forget about it. They each had their own family now. All she would be doing was add more drama into their lives. Besides, she had not forgotten about the promise that she had made to her daughter. She mustn’t. This time, she wouldn’t say a word about it. She would hold her tongue even if it was to Song Wan.

Both of them chatted for a while more. In the end, they didn’t have much to say to each other. So much time had passed between them, and they realized that nothing could bring them back to how they used to be.

“Ah Lui is coming to pick me up in a while. I can give you a lift.” Song Wan told Shen Yijun. Coincidentally, they were heading in the same direction.

“That’s alright. My chauffeur is coming.” Shen Yijun rejected her offer. In fact, she no longer wished to have anything to do with the Chu family.

Song Wan felt an indescribable emotion welling inside her. Was it disappointment?

Soon, Chu Lui arrived in his car.

“I’ll make a move first.” Song Wan nodded at Shen Yijun, and she got into her son’s car. Chu Lui was nonchalant when he saw Shen Yijun. There wasn’t much emotion in his eyes.

“Ah Lui, you don’t seem to like Auntie Shen.” Song Wan finally spoke once they were alone. She didn’t need an explanation from her son. She knew this expression. It was reserved for people who he disliked meeting but couldn’t avoid.

“Yes. I don’t like her.” Chu Lui told her the truth. “It is not worth mentioning such a mother.”

There was no response from Song Wan. She knew. Her son was feeling the injustice that had happened to Xia Ruoxin. She could still remember Xia Ruoxin’s words vividly after so many years. That child had said ‘how nice would it be if you were my mother’. It was a pity that Song Wan was not her mother; she was Chu Lui’s.

“Oh, dear...” Song Wan couldn’t help sighing as she placed her hand at the corner of her eye. She could feel the faint lines of crow’s feet. She was no longer youthful. It was best not to dig up the past.