The Experimental Log of the Crazy Lich

“I’ve been single for all my life, and now I finally have a daughter to take care of me in my old age. Congratulations! Congratulations!”

*Boom!* *Boom!*

I really wanted to say that to myself. However, I was currently standing on a street that had transformed into a sea of fire, and sounds of explosions would ring out continuously. I figured I might as well not.

“So much for congratulating myself! She’s getting too excited and going way overboard!”

Should it be said that it was to be expected since Karwenz and I were twin brothers? Our bloodlines didn’t clash even one bit, and under Amelia’s guidance, the blood transfusion was an absolute success. None of the negative reactions we were expecting occurred—not even the normal non-magical ones like the rejection of a foreign substance common to mundane blood transfusions.

A full one-third of the blood in Glina’s body had now been replaced with my blood.

And when I faintly began sensing that subtly wondrous bloodline connection, I used my willpower to directly cancel my demon form and gave Glina her freedom. After being bound by the fear of turning into a demon for so many years, Glina unhesitatingly removed her eyepatch and walked out of her armor that chained herself within.

Of course, it was impossible to remove the previously demonized parts, but the heterochromia[1] 1 girl didn’t care about the way other people looked at her. As long as the demonic eye no long beckoned to her from the Abyss, trying to tug her soul into Chaos, she was quite willing to take off the eyepatch and show off her youth and vitality under the sun.

“…You’re overly hyperactive. I just asked you to clean up all this rubble, not flatten everything in sight.”

A new city, new streets, and new plans. Since I intended on rebuilding Red Maple City into a major city, the remaining piles of rubble left behind from the battle needed to be cleared away.

Originally, I had intended to invite some engineer specialists to slowly take care of this matter, but Glina, who still didn’t want to return to Antuen, volunteered for this task of her own volition. When I thought about how this could save me some money, of course I wouldn’t refuse.

I also took into consideration her past history, and expected that she would go overboard. But since everything was already rubble to begin with, I figured that going a little overboard wouldn’t be a big deal, and it would even help her to vent her energy that’s been rather excessive lately. But apparently, I had still managed to underestimate her.

All the broken mechas from the battlefield became materials for Glina’s explosives. Using her status as the queen of Sleuweir, she even managed to obtain the engines from the broken Roland Titans and created several explosives of frightening power, placing them into a tightly created net of explosives. And then…

*BOOM!*

After she pressed the red button, half of the city vanished entirely. The tremendous explosion broke every single glass window in Red Maple City. What would have taken the engineers two months to clear away was finished by Glina in just a single day. In a way, I had underestimated, once again, how maniacally passionate Glina was about her explosives.

Fine, I admit defeat. It was better for her to vent on some rubble rather than on me.

From a certain viewpoint, the surgery’s success basically gave us the most solid blood connection of all. I didn’t know how to deal with my “adopted daughter” that I now suddenly had, and Glina probably didn’t know how to deal with her new “father,” either.

Back in Antuen, she would occasionally call me “father” once in a while, but mostly just as a joke, and now she hadn’t called me that at all. She probably didn’t even know what she should call me now.

“…Maybe your way of expressing your feelings is rather unique, but even if you don’t want to use normal hugs and act spoiled, don’t you think it’s a bit much to wake me up with an explosives alarm clock every morning? Waking up every morning is a race for my life, and I’ll die if I’m just a little bit slow, brat.”

By the way, ever since the successful surgery, I received a “blessing” from my system just like always.

[A girl not directly related to you is calling you “father,” but you’re still an old virgin. All the conditions have been met… Congratulations for receiving the achievement “Enjoys Being a Daddy” and the glorious title “King of All Backup Boyfriends 2 .”[2] If you equip this title, it will be easier for you to receive females’ sympathy and male “friendship.”]

This was already pitiful enough, but the system was swift as always in pouring salt on my wounds.

[Actually, you can consider the next step in this achievement—gathering seven girls as your daughters who aren’t blood-related to you and raising the beautiful girls well, while you still remain an old virgin. According to how well you raise them, you can receive, in order: “Really Loves Being a Daddy,” “Legendary Daddy King,” and “Veteran Mr. Mom.” These three are the three major epic achievements that will reward you with the epic title “You Truly Are a Nice Person.” This title will aid you massively in obtaining female friendship (and at the same time make it massively more difficult in obtaining their love). Of course, if you decide to take the incest route, there’s no need to hesitate. I also have titles befitting any perverted father, and I promise that they’re strong.]

“…Wahh! I’m no ‘King of Backup Boyfriends!’ I don’t want to become a Daddy God!”

Even though I was mostly immune to my system’s provocations after all these years, I couldn’t help but helplessly kneel to the ground and have tears in my manly eyes.

[To add insult to injury: Actually, you’ve already completed more than half of this achievement. Reyne, Glina, Elisa, Annie, plus when you take into the consideration that your physical body won’t mature anytime soon… don’t struggle, you can’t resist fate. Look at it from a different angle, becoming a Legend Daddy God is quite ferocious as well. At least, at least—okay, the system can’t find any benefits, and can’t make this up anymore, so I shall simply express my sympathies and condolences to you. You have so many naughty children, it’s tough being you, Daddy God.]

I didn’t even know where to start commenting from anymore—from the fact that the system itself admitted it was intentionally adding insult to injury, or from it calling me a Legend Daddy, or the fact that I was now so pitiful that even the system couldn’t take it anymore and started expressing its sympathy?

By the way, I received yet another achievement that day…

[You ate something highly poisonous and didn’t die. Congratulations to my host for receiving the “Hungry Enough to Eat Literally Anything” achievement. Equipping this will double the amount of food you’re capable of eating, and you’ll receive a minor increase to your resistance against poison and disgusting foods. This series of achievements is followed by “Food God—Nothing Is Off Limits,” “We Eat Everything with Four Legs Besides Tables and Chairs,” and “The Sky Seems So Delicious.” After that is the epic achievement “He Who Stands On Top of the Food Chain,” and the Legend title “Devourer of the Void.” Actually, with Amelia by your side, you can finish this series of achievements quite quickly.]

“There’s even more? Hehe, if I eat any more of those things… I really did see the River Styx last time. Those bastards even asked me ‘You’re back again? How long do you intend to stay this time?’ The next time I eat something from her, I really will be staying there forever!”

Okay, let’s just forget about the past. The most important thing now was to find a certain someone for her reckoning.

“You’ve given me so much trouble!”

Half of the city disappeared, and as the person responsible for the project, I finally finished dealing with all those complaints, bills, and accidents caused by people frightened by the explosions. I furiously went to find Glina for her reckoning, but in the end, before I could even complain to her, I saw an unexpected battle.

In an empty area, Reyne and Glina were currently dueling. Sword energy was flying everywhere causing constant explosions. Judging from their actions and expressions, both of them were being serious about it.

Unlike with his previous useless vessel, the Abyssal Prince had given Reyne quite the gifts. The highest quality abyssal transformation had given Reyne so much power. Karwenz had been worried that his vessel would randomly die off, so he directly shoved a huge amount of combat experience shoved into Reyne’s instinct, and that cheat-like Soul Imprint of hers also improved her stats all-around. The current Reyne would be at the top of the top even among the strongest veteran legends.

Even though the Roland Sacred Sword was unable to simply emit sword energy everywhere, it could still slice through the air like a silver dragon. Each swing seemed like it could collapse the heavens, and the pressure from the sword combined with Reyne’s imposing manner allowed her to suppress her opponent’s movements.

To be honest, even in practice battles such as these, her Seal of Unlimited Courage was activated and was constantly increasing her strength.

After the trial of that bloody battle on the snowy night, the current Princess Knight seemed to have earned the Sacred Sword’s recognition.

“She already has her own unique fighting style? It seems that she’s not far from becoming someone who can take care of herself.”

I personally taught Reyne. Although Karwenz was somewhat involved as well, her growth was only to be expected. However, Glina, who was facing off against Reyne, was truly incomprehensible.

The shocking part for me was that although on the surface it seemed like Reyne, who possessed the Sacred Sword, was controlling the situation and that Glina had less and less room to move about and dodge, Glina was actually the one who had control of the tempo of the battle.

After Glina took off her heavy armor, she may have been petite and dexterous, but she still had natural-born ridiculous strength. She wielded a weapon in each hand, a pike that flowed like the wind and a longsword that struck like lightning. Her two weapons didn’t interfere with each other and even had cooperative techniques—it was almost as if two weapons masters were working together.

“Is she still just a Gold rank? But…”

Suddenly, a round Gnome Mine dropped out from under Glina’s skirt, and its lit fuse had almost reached the end. Reyne was surprised for a moment, and then she hurriedly jumped backwards, but when the fuse reached its end, nothing happened at all.

*Pop!*

The smoke coming from it was Glina’s special explosive that had only a miniscule amount of power. After she succeeded in gaining distance between them, Glina unhesitatingly tossed down her heavy melee weapons. Now was the time for her real firepower, her guns and engineered explosives.

I suddenly discovered that while Glina may have been stuck at the Gold rank, she was definitely no ordinary Gold rank. Her skill in both long and short weapons had already reached Master level (for a Gold rank), and her engineering ability was above that of a Master’s. Her combined overall power was far above even a Legend’s. Not only that, she was also an excellent mecha pilot; she was one of the rare generalist types, good at everything.

Most importantly of all, she had extraordinary combat experience. For someone like her who had been through hundreds of battles, Reyne was nothing more than a fresh newbie. She could predict Reyne’s every move and manipulate Reyne accordingly so that she could suppress her.

Reyne’s method of attacking was far too simple and direct, while Glina’s tricks were numerous to the point where she wouldn’t need to repeat a single attack during a battle. After Glina fully understood her opponent’s capabilities, she started using her true ability and instantly changed the combat situation.

“Under a normal situation, Glina would definitely win, but Reyne has that… in the end, Reyne will still be the winner—there’s no doubt about that!”

Maybe she noticed that I was here now or perhaps she was suppressed to the point where she couldn’t take it anymore, but as I expected, Reyne finally ended up raising the Sacred Sword.

“Come here, ancient kings!”

Alright, I won’t bother describing anything else. Some ancient kings’ spirits descended upon this place and Glina was instantly knocked away by three waves of sword energy. The duel was over, Reyne won, and Glina was left alone, sulking.

Yep, three waves, not one. After that battle, the Roland Sacred Sword finished its God Equipment’s evolution. There weren’t any major changes, but the limitation on summoning only one ancient king, three times a day, was modified.

“It can summon four times a day, at most three kings at once, and if you want to go all-out, it can even summon twelve ancient kings’ spirits in one go—it’s a little ridiculously unfair.”

Reyne unsummoned the ancient spirits, and Glina instantly ran to my side. Before I could even complain to her, she first reached her hand out to me.

“For me.”

I didn’t know whether I should cry or laugh at this. Glina was quite displeased at losing the duel, and felt that it was unfair how I gave the Sacred Sword to Reyne, so now she was looking for something from me in exchange.

“Heh, how impatient. Blaming it on the weapon if you can’t win.”

“In that case, Reyne, leave that Sacred Sword on the ground. Let’s have a rematch!”

“Hmph, why wouldn’t I use a God Equipment when I have one? If you’re unsatisfied, then go ask Roland for another God Equipment…”

Saying so, Reyne laughed at her own comeback. She knew that the God Equipment were incredibly rare, and she didn’t believe that Roland would have another one.

“I do have one more, and I was planning on giving it to you, Glina.”

This reply surprised the both of them as I gave a black dagger to Glina.

“I give you this God Equipment to protect yourself, but remember to never let anyone else find out about it. And never use it to injure a friend, or else you’ll regret it.”

[Felix’s Hatred, Dagger, God Equipment.]

[Attack: 1-3, every attack is imbued with a random special effect from the following four effects. The dagger’s blade will change color according to the effect’s properties.]

[Divine Authority, Ending of Nature: When this effect is active, those struck will be injected with withering poison. No matter if it’s an animal or a plant—even if it’s just a rock, it will soon meet the end of its life. (Green colored.)]

[Divine Authority, Distortion of Life: When this effect is active, those struck will have a mysterious hormone injected into them, and will undergo a rapid transformation within a short period of time, changing their shape and species. There is a 10% chance for a beneficial transformation which will increase the original target’s power, and a 30% chance for a harmful transformation which will weaken the original target’s power. There is a 60% chance for a meaningless, non-important transformation. (Red colored.)]

[Divine Authority – Poison God’s Hatred: When this effect is active, anyone struck will be injected with a poison that has no antidote and will be sent into an eternal sleep. (Black colored.)]

[Divine Authority – Felix’s Salvation: When this effect is active, an antidote will be applied on the target struck which can cancel any of the above three effects. This effect will not appear unless all three of the above effects have currently been activated.]

[There’s a row of small yellow words carved into the dagger’s back: My dagger has been coated with fatal poison! Lick—ah, it’s toxic!]

It was a dagger of black iron that appeared perfectly ordinary on the surface, normal to the extent where even the poorest of thieves probably wouldn’t give it even a second look, but it was indeed a God Equipment.

Felix had devoured the Forest Guardian God’s divine power and then had perished almost immediately, and the divine power that he left behind was transformed by my system into this toxic dagger, which was the biggest prize from this battle.

I already experimented with it numerous times. When the green effect of ending nature was activated, all plants would die instantly. Any animal struck by it would immediately age to middle age if it was young, and two strikes would age it to old age, whereas three strikes would kill it of old age.

And the red effect of distortion was even more vicious. The random chances it had of transformation were transformations that entirely changed the species. I personally witnessed a transformed white rabbit gulp down a wild boar in a single bite.

The black effect was actually the simplest. Just one strike caused eternal sleep.

And the only antidote to all three of these effects, the White Salvation, required at least three sacrifices first before it would appear, meaning it would take three lives to save one.

“As expected of a God Equipment, but… what’s with this attack power that’s not even at the level of a fruit knife? It needs to at least be able to break the skin to inject poison into someone, so how can such a blunt knife break through anyone’s defense?”

I tried using this dagger to gently trace across my arm, but I felt nothing at all. My titan’s body directly made me immune to this insignificant damage. And if this dagger couldn’t cause anyone to bleed, this God Equipment would be no different from an actual fruit knife.

Typically speaking, strong SemiGod and God Equipment would all have very bothersome side effects. Perhaps this dull blade was a type of limitation in and of itself, which was why its effects could be so powerful.

But its bluntness, which wouldn’t even be able to pierce through the simplest of leather armors, greatly limited the times and places where it could be used.

“This is useless for direct combat, but it’s excellent for underhanded tactics. If it’s Glina, I believe you can make the best use of it.”

Glina nodded continuously as she received the God Equipment dagger, and her icy little expression finally showed a hint of a smile. That momentary smile was especially cute, but in the next moment, she started showing off to Reyne, as if she had won something important.

But now wasn’t the time to be idling relaxing and wasting time, as I had something more important to do.

“Let’s make our preparations. The disaster relief squad has already gathered. We’re going to the elves!”

Note:

1. Heterochromia is a difference in coloration, usually of the iris of the eye, but it can also be of hair or skin.

2. A backup boyfriend, in Asian culture, is when a girl has a boyfriend but keeps ambiguous relationships with other men, “just in case.”