The Experimental Log of the Crazy Lich

The bizarre and mystical workings of nature had created this land of miracles. The mountainous ridges and forests had blocked off the cold drafts while the rain, dews, and underground streams gave life to the ground. As a result, this unique granary of the Northern Lands was created.

The Northern Lands weren’t suited for growing crops. At maximum, its lands could only enjoy a harvest once a year whereas in this valley, with the assistance of a spellcaster, it could enjoy a maximum of three harvests per year. Furthermore, due to the rich nutrients in the ground and the suitable weather, the quality of the harvest was rather high.

This was also the reason why we had to come here. Ten years of work on some other land would mean around ten generations of crops to choose from whereas in the same period of time, thirty generations of crops could grow here. There was a huge difference between each generation in cross-breeding crops, let alone twenty generations.

“Can’t we just use magic to hasten their growth?”

“…I really have no idea how you managed to pass the Theoretical Life Examinations back then. Normal crops and crops whose growth have been hastened by magic are actually two totally different things. Crops hastened by magic carry with them the spellcaster’s will, which warps the crops’ growth. If we want to see the normal growing process of life, we have to do it step by step.”

“Are you sure you really don’t know how he passed the examinations? It was all cheating. Back then, if not for his outstanding cheating skills, given that nonexistent elemental comprehension ability of his, he would have long ago failed most of his homework and exams, resulting in his expulsion.”

After waking from her long slumber, Harloys possessed a state of vigorous energy. At this moment, she was talking bad about me while crouching on my head and tugging on my hair to make furballs.

“Teacher Harloys. Your habits… could it be that your physical form affects your soul?”

That reminder caused the darned cat to freeze. Only at this instant did she realize that her actions were no different from a real cat. She immediately covered her face and went into silent depression.

“Pu! How is that possible? That cat form of hers is just one of her mimicries. She is just addicted to playing the role of a cat.… Darned cat, how dare you bite me!”

Alright, the moment I used my physical actions to display what “disaster originates from one’s mouth” meant, Harloys also used her physical actions to display what “embarrassment warping into anger” meant.

“A pet cat attacking its owner? Are you rebelling, you Meow Alien! You all have not conquered the world yet!”

After which, I got into a fight with that darned cat. Just when I was about to achieve victory due to the advantage of my physique, I heard Amelia’s faint words.

“Seems like your relationship is pretty good.”

“Who would have a good relationship with him/her!”

Alright, at the very least, our opinion in this aspect was aligned. In order to prove so, as well as to verify Harloys’s testimony, I grabbed the cat by her neck and did an Eighteen Hell Rotation and received a pleasurable, shrill scream and a dizzy-headed darned cat in return.

Compared to before, the movements of the awakened darned cat were much more like a real cat. As for the outer appearance, she seemed to have grown from a Meow Alien youngling into an adult black cat, and her stiff cat fur had become glossy and smooth.

After successfully absorbing the SemiGod Equipment “The Dark God’s Breath of Death,” Harloys finally began to display her potential as a top-notch Magic Pet. On the surface, she became much more elegant while beneath the surface, a much greater change had occurred.

【Magic Pet: Harloys (Main Body of Greed)Race: SlimeStrength: 14Agility: 10Stamina: 35Intelligence: 30Will: 25Charm: Depends

Job: LVL 37 Mage

Overview: Position, Racial Ability: Transmogrification (Legendary), Child of Greed Division (Legendary)】

【Innnate Ability [Transmogrification (Legendary)]: Transforming to a harmless kitten is just its weakest ability. It can choose to change to weapon-form and the current choices are Staff (Breath of Death) and Magic Sword (Counterfeit, Pale Justice).】

【Innate Ability [Child of Greed Division (Legendary)]: Divides to form a small Child of Greed. The Child of Greed will inherit a portion of Harloys’s abilities and stats. As long as the Child of Greed is within a certain radius around Harloys, it will be under her total control, serving as her eyes, ears, hands, and legs. The total amount of divisions: 15,417—Before misfortune strikes, one would somehow find the inauspicious omen of a black cat roaming about, and for Harloys, being everywhere isn’t a difficult task. She always arrives in time in the form of a crow/black cat to laugh at your misfortune.】

【System Evaluation: This is your Magic Pet, but she is constantly thinking of how to get rid of you within the limitations of the contract. Do not be fooled by her outer appearance. As a grandmaster in magic, even though she only possesses the strength of a Bronze-rank at the moment, she is able to easily destroy those Gold-rank rookies. Furthermore, her incredible base stats and her transmogrification ability has made her even more dangerous than before.】

【System Evaluation 2: She definitely isn’t as weak as she portrays herself. As for why she hides her strength, is there a need for me to explain it to you? Perhaps the recent interaction with you has pleased her, so she decided to leave a path for you after a successful revolt.… So what are you still waiting for? Hurry up and get rid of this foolish Meow Alien while you still have the upper hand.】

The tier of the Breath of Death Staff had been lowered to Epic-rank, and the consumed Power of Death had allowed Harloys to become powerful and dangerous. Looking at the various figures on the interface and the increasing numbers of Child of Greed, I started to suspect whether I would be a match for her if I really fell out and had to exchange blows with her.

To tell the truth, the current situation of the cat thinking that she had concealed her strength well when it was all laid bare, out in the open, was enjoyable for me, given how I could bully this darned cat openly. Furthermore, in order to make me neglect her fighting power, she could only record the scores one by one.

Harloys’s experience and wisdom were what I most valued about her, and she had helped choose the first batch of crops to plant.

Naturally, due to the complete lack of decency and common sense between Amelia and me, we needed her to correct us.

“I have a good idea! Why don’t we plant rice on the back of frogs, which have moist skin? We can create a hybrid animal-plant. I even came up with a name for it! I choose you! Wonderfrog Seed!”

“Rejected! Putting aside the technological aspects, the frog would probably die in a few days. Furthermore, how can something like this reproduce?”

“Then, why don’t we plant it on zombies? It is said that the decomposing bodies of the Undead serve as good fertilizer for plants.”

“Rejected! Who would dare to eat rice planted on a zombie!”

“Then…”

“If you dare to say zombie wheat or zombie biscuit, I will smear your entire face with slime goo.”

“Fine, I’ll return and give it some more thought.”

Should I say, “as expected of a professional”? Initially, I thought that Amelia would be like me, coming up with interesting projects to try as well as experimenting with the newest technology. In the end, she decided to settle the matter seriously.

“Special breed Hewert barley and Siere rice… Is that enough?”

“Yeah, we will just use seventeen genetically-modified plants for the first batch. We have to find the most suitable genes for cold and dry conditions. After finding the most suitable breed, I will use my magic to modify it once again and use the ones that were modified the best for the second batch.”

“Obtaining good crops through genetic modification isn’t something that will bear results within the short-run. Even if you provide me with this greenhouse technology of yours, at the very most, it can only hasten the process in awaiting the germination and growth of the plants. For the safety of the population, we have to proceed prudently.… Why are you all staring at me like that? Did I say something wrong?”

I hurriedly shook my head. There’s nothing wrong with your words, but this seemed a little off with your image.

“‘One should face Mother Earth with gratitude for the blessings she has showered upon us, and appreciate her gifts.’ Back then, when I was the Sacred Maiden of the Church of Mother Earth in Xyntherar, my teacher taught me so. A pity…”

Sacred Maiden? Furthermore, the Sacred Maiden of the Church of Mother Earth that had an incredibly good reputation? I couldn’t help but be impressed by how colorful Amelia’s life was, as well as curious as to how she managed to come to such a point.

“A pity?”

“It is a pity that she was duped by a man. As a Sacred Maiden who lost her purity, she was expelled from the Church. Furthermore, that man even abandoned her, saying that ‘I was only playing with you. After all, men always bear some level of interest for Sacred Maidens, but you aren’t a Sacred Maiden anymore. Why should I give up my honor to accompany you for life?’ Not long later, my teacher committed suicide. Due to her dishonorable death, she was regarded as a stain on the Church of Mother Earth’s history. In fact, even I, her successor as the next Sacred Maiden and her adopted daughter, was unable to attend her funeral. She truly lost her standing and reputation.”

Her calm and casual words carried an undercurrent of bone-chilling hatred.

“You avenged her?”

“I killed that man’s entire family, but he managed to escape. To date, I am still unable to do anything about him.…”

“To date? He is still alive?”

“‘Dragon Hunter’ Deimos. He is the first generation Deimos. I have already killed the second generation Deimos, and one day, I will…”

This wasn’t the first time I had heard this name. Didn’t Marsolit’s enemy go by such a name as well? Remembering the intelligence I had gotten from that old emperor of Auland, I smiled.

“…bury his bones amidst Undying Grass and cut off a portion of his flesh everyday to feed to him…”

She had already begun to talk about the torture scenarios she had come up with. The more she spoke, the more agitated she got. It was clear from her red eyes that she was on the verge of losing control once more. At this moment, I patted her shoulders.

“One day, you will have your revenge. I will help you. I will make him die in greater dishonor and despair than your mother.”

Amelia froze for a moment before taking two steps away from me. She stared at me warily.

“Don’t try to act intimate with me. You aren’t any better than him. I know your history well. Even though you don’t have any confirmed relationships with the opposite gender and there aren’t any cases of you toying with their feelings, the number of women you messed with and the emotional debt that you owe them is much greater than that bastard.”

My jaw dropped. Where did this rumor come from? I have been a virgin for three generations now, and if I really owed that much emotional debt, I would have just made up for it to shake off my single identity.

“I, I don’t have any…”

“Hmph, don’t bother trying to convince me otherwise. You playboys are skilled in planting expectations into women. Can you remember the number of women who have cried over you? Right now, we’re only working partners, so don’t even dream about gaining my trust once more.”

Staring at the figure of Amelia, who turned to leave right after she was done saying her piece, I couldn’t find a response.

“Playboy, playboy. This virgin is actually treated as a playboy.… Pu! I can’t stop laughing!”

This darned cat actually started rolling all over my head in laughter, inducing in me the urge to throw her. Yeah, the next moment, I did it.

Even when flying in the air, she was still shouting.

“So dizzy! You are really annoying! I will be back!”

“Hmph, what is truly disgusting is a Meow Alien who can talk.”

Turning around, I saw a bunch of fawning faces.

“Lord, can we take a rest? It is almost noon now.”

“No, continue working. This is punishment!”

Naturally, for the crops experiment, we required diligent farmers toiling in the fields. The “farmers” whose entire bodies were covered with mud at this moment, after working for an entire morning, were the group who were about to be promoted as the bosses of different departments.

“Eaglestorm, I am very thankful for your support. However, you can’t behave like this just because you are unable to find any students.”

After hearing those words, the Legend-rank Druid’s face flushed. Yesterday, after they were unable to recruit a single student no matter how hard they tried, they used a certain someone’s idea and began to morph into bears, wolves, and other animals. They carried the children around to win their goodwill. However, by the impetus of some inconceivable primitive will, the unique culture of Liu Huang Mountain City started to show on the Surface.

“Mum, what’s that! A bird?”

“Your head that it is a bird! It is obviously an elephant!”

“AH!! Let’s go, don’t look!”

“…Xueti, I heard someone call the Church of Law the Church of Nude Running yesterday.”

“Boss, leave it all to me! I will show you the innate talent Taurens have in farming. One of my Race Talents is in Herbology! I can’t understand why Taurens require this Race Talent, but perhaps, it was in preparation of this day. Ohhhhh, I’m burning up! I will work hard!”

After being hung to make beef jerky, this fellow managed to keep himself in check for two days. However, after going through forests to come to this valley, his passion had been ignited once more. When he caught sight of the familiar wave of nude runners, how could he contain his urge?

As for Clint and the other Goblins… I should have stopped them the instant they started to demonstrate their abilities in assembling machinery. In the end, someone even had to fill up those craters by the mines.

As for Beifeng… Right, what did Beifeng do? Why is he being punished?

“Beifeng, what did you do that day?”

“Lord, I was framed! Back then, I was only chatting with someone. But somehow everyone just pulled me here.”

“Ah? Beifeng, you didn’t commit any mistakes? I’m sorry, it’s a habit. Somehow, I just pulled you here upon catching sight of you. Alright, I will deduct one from your future exploits then.”

Diana’s apology had not an ounce of sincerity. Even so, the deduction of one punishment was accepted by the crowds. Apparently, everyone thought that Beifeng would commit more crimes.

“Impossible. Beifeng actually didn’t make any mistakes?”

“Bullshit. We must have just overlooked it. How can it be possible for him to not do anything at all?”

“Sigh! The world slanders me, deceives me, insults me, mocks me, belittles me, debases me, loathes me, and scams me. So what? I need only tolerate it, allow it, permit it, avoid it, bear it, respect it, ignore it, and, after a few years, look at it again.”

Eventually, under the criticism of the crowd, the innocent Dracon sighed, spouted a few words that tempted others to pummel him before working diligently alongside Xueti.