Joy of Life

A while later, Ruoruo raised her head, sadly asking, “What about Father?”

Fan Xian frowned as he responded. “I’ll still be here in the capital to look after him. You can leave here for at least two years, without worry.”

“But... can we really call off the wedding just like that?” Fan Ruoruo was still a bit hesitant about Fan Xian’s proposal.

“Ku He’s power is reaches further than that odd emperor’s of the northern Qi Kingdom.” Fan Xian balked, continuing, “even our own emperor would have great respect for Ku He’s wishes. And besides, you becoming a student is just an excuse to push back this marriage another two years. King Jing’s family is sure to understand.”

Fan Ruoruo shook her head and said, “It cannot be that simple, surely.”

Fan Xian was starting to get a headache, and so he started to chew on his lip. In regards to the eldest prince and his fight for the throne, he did not desire to tell his sister of this, as she was a person of too much compassion. He thought that if she found out that Fan Xian was in muddied waters and had gotten into trouble in his efforts to cancel the wedding, she would throw herself into the arms of the crown prince.

“The key is, you are only sixteen.” Fan Xian was speaking morally. “Sixteen. You haven’t even finished growing, and you are to get married already? This is more like a persecution!”

Fan Ruoruo’s face turned from pale to red, feeling slightly embarrassed. Playfully, she threw Fan Xian a gentle punch and said, “How can you say that as a brother?” She took a deep breath to gather her courage and composure, continuing, “Besides, when my sister-in-law married you, she wasn’t even sixteen yet.”

Fan Xian rolled his eyes so hard he almost fainted.

...

...

“Big brother, if I can truly leave the capital to see the world, I would be ecstatic. I would be overjoyed!” You could tell from a mere glance at Fan Ruoruo’s eyes that she was greatly looking forward to her freedom. “Just... my thoughts of going to leave you terrifies me, at least a little.”

Fan Xian started laughing, and said to her, “You silly child. Everyone should be afraid, the moment they first learn of how to become independent. Just like when we had to learn how to walk when we were young.”

Fan Ruoruo held her mouth to prevent laughing and responded, “Really? But the people in Danzhou say that you learnt how to walk much sooner than anyone else. And as soon as you began walking, you started running!”

In Fan Xian’s heart, he thought to himself, I must be a freak. Normal people cannot do that.

“Okay, but telling you all about this was just me seeking your opinion. If you’re up for it, and are willing to do this, then I will make the necessary arrangements and get it sorted.” Fan Xian stroked his sister’s head caringly and spoke, “You really are the unique sister of Fan Xian. And I am going to make you a woman unique to the entire world.”

Fan Ruoruo was touched by what her brother said, but all she did was nod; she made no promises. When she thought about Ku He accepting her as a student, her mind wandered to that Haitang lady and how close she was with her big brother. She thought it was... a little strange. And maybe there was something going on between them. She giggled, stood up and prepared to leave, but said, “My sister-in-law has something to give you. I will tell her to come see you.”

Fan Xian was surprised at her hasty departure, and as she went, he watched his sister’s shadow disappear behind the door.

Fan Ruoruo was walking through the empty backyard, and she raised her head to the sky. She watched the thick clouds get blown to the east by the wind, the grey sky obscuring the sun – it didn’t provide much comfort.

As she walked through the yard, she extended her hands out to brush the holly trees She thought to herself, As early as next year, I may have the opportunity to go to another country. I’ll be able to escape this suffocating life in the capital and be free from those incessant, frustratingly boring meetings I must attend with all the other noble ladies. I will no longer have to worry about that grim, loveless marriage. She started to feel joy, but a growing sense of emptiness started to take root in her heart as well.

Fan Ruoruo’s fingers subconsciously clenched onto a holly leaf, which gave her a cut, and and she could feel the pulsation of pain. As her finger throbbed, she recalled the words of her tutor, who once told her to always take care of her hands. As she thought of this, she pulled her hand back like lightning. In her heart, she then began contemplating whether or not she should wait for her tutor to return, and perhaps he could offer his opinion on whether or not she should go to the north.

“What were you and Ruoruo talking about?” Wan’er had seen his little sister walk away, and she was asking out of curiosity.

Fan Xian knew to keep it to himself, and so he gave the enigmatic answer: “I can’t tell you.”

Wan’er went to sit in front of the dressing table, picking up her comb and beginning to brush her hair. Fan Xian, with a smile, walked up to her and took the comb out of her hands. With it, he began combing her hair for her. The comb slid through his wife’s hair without any trouble, for her hair was smooth and free of tangles.

Fan Xian commented, “You and my sister both have lovely hair.”

Wan’er was giggling as she responded, “That is because of the soap you made in Danzhou. It makes managing my hair far easier, so it should come as no surprise to learn that I can keep it in such a great condition.”

Fan Xian did not believe her, so he lowered his head to smell her hair. A sweet fragrance greeted his inquisitive nose, not the smell of sweat that he had expected. Wan’er pretended to be annoyed and said, “considering what you just told me, it is obvious that you haven’t paid much attention to my presence. You did not even know how nice my hair was!”

Fan Xian stood behind her and gazed down at his wife, peeking at what was below her garment’s neck line. He caught sight of her pale skin and his heart jumped, saying, “Getting close to you does not require the love of my heart, for the mere use of my eyes is enough.”

Wan’er was aware of what her husband was referring to, and so she tightened and pulled the neckline of her garment higher. She did not wear anything particularly voluptuous at home, but she did not expect her horny husband would be as smart as to look from above in the way he did.

Fan Xian pulled his wife into his arms and sniffed her fragrance deeply. He then put his face in front of her chest and repeatedly inhaled. He sounded troubled when he spoke, “Recently, really over the past few days, I feel as if I have always wanted something. But I was not sure of what that something might be.”

Wan’er thought that he was talking about something sexual, and so she tried to escape his clutch. This failed, for he held her too tight. Fan Xian started giggling and said, “Don’t be so stubborn. That which is occurring between me and my sister is a secret for now, yes, but I will tell you of it in the near future.”

Wan’er had a curious look upon her face and said, “You are being that cautious?”

Bitterness formed on Fan Xian’s face, with him saying, “It may very well be the biggest act of deception in history.” He then thought of what his sister said, and so he asked, “Sister said you have something to give me. What is it?”

Wan’er was suddenly brought to anger, and so she grinded her teeth, saying, “That little traitor! I was going to see how well you would behave recently before deciding whether to give it to you.”

Fan Xian started laughing, and told her, “It would undoubtedly become mine eventually, so please give it to me, princess.”

Wan’er’s face wore a scowl and said, “No.”

Fan Xian began grinning in an evil manner, as his hands traversed up and down her waist. He began twiddling and rubbing it in an attempt to tickle her. After squealing and shrieking loudly, she finally gave up her resistance. Gasping for breath, she pulled something out of her pocket and threw it at Fan Xian’s face, saying, “There! Now let me go!”

A pleasant waft drifted into his nostrils. When it dropped, he noticed it was a handkerchief. He let go of his hands, grabbed it, and then froze.

It was a finely embroidered handkerchief, featuring two mandarin ducks floating upon a river. It was composed of a remarkable material, as if it had been given as a tribute from the palace. The material it was made from could only be gathered in Jiangnan.

The threading was exquisite, also. It did not matter if the colour was yellow, red or green, you could always take sight of the incredible threadwork. Fan Xian thought it might have been a gift from Suzhou.

Just...

...

...

As for the stitchwork, it was terrible!

You could see the stitches go up and down unsteadily and make out a number of holes in the fine thread. Whoever made this had committed a terrible amount of mistakes. The lines that composed the image were crooked and twisted, not graciously curved as they should have been. The two ducks upon the cloth were supposed to look calm and harmonious, but its terrible creation had rendered them into hideous monsters. The flowers that dressed the riverbed became a symbol for postmodernism.

Fan Xian opened his eyes wide in disbelief at the handkerchief. Even the stitching of the water was just a few flat lines. Those lines were the most accomplished stitches on the entire handkerchief, but Fan Xian asked himself why a yellow thread was chosen for the water.

Was the handkerchief supposed to depict irradiated, mutated ducks flowing down a tainted river?

Fan Xian looked at it over and over again. Eventually, he failed to contain his laughter, and he began laughing out loud.

...

...

The laughing would undoubtedly be heard from every corner of the house. Wan’er knew she had made it poorly, and so she sought to flee and hide in her sister-in-law’s room. But hearing Fan Xian’s hysteria, and how humiliating it felt, she stepped up and mustered her courage. Before she was fully gone, she had turned around and returned to the room. She put one hand on her wrist and with fingers outstretched and pointed with the other at Fan Xian’s nose. “Stop laughing!”

Fan Xian saw the anger in his wife’s eyes, but he could not manage to contain his laughter. He raised one hand to cover his mouth and brought another to hold his belly, and on the chair, his suppressed laughs had him rock back and forth like a tumbler.

Wan’er was in a flurry of varying emotions. She was annoyed, embarrassed, and had a desire to laugh all at the same time. She stepped forward to try and grab the handkerchief from Fan Xian’s hand. It may have come as no surprise, but Fan Xian was most certainly unwilling to return the gift, and so he quickly stuffed it in his pocket. He had barely brought a pause to his laughing when he took to a deepened voice and told her, “Wan’er, this is the first thing you have ever stitched for me. You gave it to me as a gift, so you cannot request it back.”

Wan’er was born noble, and grew up in the palace. She always had her servants and grandmother to take care of her; she had almost never lifted a finger in her whole life. This was her first attempt at stitchwork, as she had never been taught before. Even though the final result of her endeavor was a rough one, Fan Xian could see the heart and hard work she had put into creating this handkerchief for him, and he was touched.

He felt sorry holding his wife’s hands, now noticing the amount of red dots that were peppered upon them. He blew upon her snow white fingertips, saying, “Do not do stitchwork anymore. I will do it for you. I once learnt how to stitch over the course of a few days in Danzhou, when I had nothing else to do.”

Lin Wan’er saw his caring, heartfelt plea and expression of concern, and it warmed her heart. But hearing what he just told her, she also felt somewhat depressed. In response, she said, “I married a husband who looks better than me and knows how to do stitchwork. You are so attentive...” Her lips flipped upside down and she almost cried out, “Fan Xian, what is the point of me living?”

“You’re silly.” Fan Xian rubbed her soft cheek and said, “If you are not going to live, because of this, then I think all the other noble ladies should gather around and commit suicide together to compete with a genius like me. To know that I can fight, be a linguist, rile up the courts and even wind down by stitching quietly... who am I? The genius of this generation!”

Hearing him boast and wax lyrical about himself, complete with a self-loving look, Wan’er started to laugh and stop her crying. She used her finger to poke his forehead and said, “You are so cocky.”

Fan Xian raised his eyebrows, conveying obscure look that could not easily be deciphered. He responded, “To marry one such as you requires hubris.”

Wan’er froze, but then put her hands out to reach into his chest.

Fan Xian tried to protect his handkerchief and nervously said, “Hey, you said you’d give it to me. What are you taking it back for?”

Wan’er had a proud look upon her face and she said, “I am not taking mine back. I am taking yours.”

Fan Xian was surprised as she pulled out a bandana from his chest. It was the one he stole from Haitang, back when he was in Shangjing. Wan’er was smiling at him as she said, “If you want mine, then I will keep this one then.”

Fan Xian’s head was initially buzzing with confusion, but it wasn’t long before he realised that the reason his wife had endured the pain in her fingertips to create the handkerchief was because she was jealous. Even though he did not love and enter a relationship with Haitang, the evidence in her hands was enough for her to believe otherwise. He was taken aback, and was unsure of how he might defend himself, so all he said was, “Wan’er, you misunderstood. I have told you once before than Haitang was nothing special to me; for what possible reasons would I like her?”

Wan’er made a “hmph” sound from her nose and said, “Your taste in women has always been strange. Back in the day, you complimented my beauty each and every day. I thought it was weird, and that you were just another guy who spoke sweet words to each and every woman he met. But then I heard from Ruoruo that you genuinely believed me to be beautiful. Therefore, your taste is different from everybody else’s, so who could possibly believe that you did not find her attractive?”

Fan Xian pretended to be mad, saying, “Who would dare say my wife wasn’t pretty?”

Wan’er copied his often-seen shrug and spoke, “no one has ever thought that I am pretty.”

Fan Xian started scratching his head in wonder, and so he asked, “is my taste really that bad?”

Wan’er held her mouth to suppress laughter and said, “Do not interrupt me!”

She waved Haitang’s bandana in a boisterous manner and in an assertive tone, told Fan Xian, “This is mine. You don’t have a problem with that, do you?”

Fan Xian wore a bitter face as he muttered, “No.”

Wan’er started giggling, and then ran outside the room. When she was through the door frame, she turned around to say, “You either marry that Haitang woman as a second wife or you put an end to this sniveling and don’t miss her at all. You are a man, carrying a bandana of sentimental value in longing for another woman. You are a wimp. Even I feel embarrassed for you.”

Fan Xian waved his hand and blew her a kiss. He mockingly told her, “That just means I am more innocent than you.”

Wan’er returned Fan Xian’s gesture.

Fan Xian all of a sudden thought of a few important things he wanted to ask of her. With a seemingly nervous disposition, he asked, “Wan’er, I recall that you have just had your birthday, so when we got married, you were already sixteen, yes?”

Wan’er was curious for why he asked this, but she nodded in response.

Fan Xian rubbed his chest, saying, “Good...good.”

...

...

The second day outside of Fan manor, in the carriage:

“Mister, where are we going?” Shi Chan Li was having a headache when he asked this. His teacher, Fan Xian, wore a curious smile that formed at the corner of his lips. He wondered what he might have been thinking about. For the previous few weeks, the capital hadn’t been all that quiet; was Fan Xian looking to stir up more trouble?

Fan Xian was looking at the handkerchief in his hands, observing the creepy, malformed ducks smiling back at him. He then felt pangs of sadness for the absence of Haitang’s bandana; the apparel of a ninth-ranked warrior. He took a big risk to thieve the bandana in the manner he did, and it was taken away by his wife in a matter of seconds.

He raised his head, seeing Shi Chan Li and Deng Zi Yue both staring at him in confusion. With quick-thinking, he bit his teeth and madly told them, “Let’s go. Let’s go visit the Bao Yue house. Familial matters have been bothering me, so I want to go there and have some fun. Let’s go where I can trade stitchworking tips with the ladies.”